How to soothe a crying newborn.

More than most parents expect. “All babies cry, often without any apparent cause,” says the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP): newborns routinely cry 1 to 4 hours a day. Fussing usually peaks at about 3 hours a day by 6 weeks, then drops to 1 or 2 hours a day by 3 to 4 months.

Some hospitals teach this stretch as the Period of PURPLE Crying: a Peak in month 2, crying that’s Unexpected, Resists soothing, comes with a Pain-like face, is Long-lasting and often happens in the Evening. The word “period” is there because it has a beginning and an end.

The NHS lists the most common reasons a baby cries:

• Hunger
• A wet or dirty nappy
• Tiredness
• Wanting a cuddle
• Wind
• Being too hot or too cold
• Boredom, or too much going on

The AAP adds spitting up and being unwell to the list. Run through it before anything else; often the fix is a feed, a change or a burp.

If the basics are covered, these are the moves the AAP and the NHS recommend. Different babies like different things, so try one at a time and give each a few minutes.

• Hold them close. In your arms or a sling, swaying or dancing gently (NHS).
• Rock side to side. Slow and rhythmic (AAP).
• A soft, steady sound. Gentle noise in the background (NHS), or rhythmic soft noise and vibration (AAP). Keep it quiet and away from the crib: how loud white noise should be.
• A walk. In your arms, a pram or a stroller (AAP). If a car ride sends them off, take them out of the car seat as soon as you can (NHS).
• A burp, to let trapped wind out (AAP).
• A warm bath. It calms some babies instantly and makes others cry even more (NHS).
• A dummy. Some breastfed babies refuse one, but for others it brings instant relief (AAP).
• Safe swaddling. Always on their back, loose enough at the hips for the legs to bend up and out, with two or three fingers’ room at the chest, and stop as soon as your baby shows signs of trying to roll (AAP).

If you’re breastfeeding, better positioning and attachment can help your baby settle (NHS). Crying during feeds can also be a sign of reflux: the NHS suggests burping your baby regularly during feeds and holding them upright while they feed. Bottle-feeding? The AAP suggests a slower-flow teat, or tipping the bottle now and then to pause the flow.

Talk to your paediatrician if your baby refuses feeds, cries or arches their back during feeds as if in pain, or brings up spit-up with blood or a green colour in it (AAP).

Colic is crying that goes on and on in a baby who is otherwise healthy. The NHS describes it as crying more than 3 hours a day, 3 days a week, for at least 1 week. Doctors have long used a stricter “rule of three”: more than three hours a day, more than three days a week, for longer than three weeks.

About one in five babies get colic, the AAP says, usually starting in the second to fourth week. It usually stops by 3 to 4 months, though it can last until 6 months. During a bout, babies often bring their knees up to their tummy or arch their back (NHS).

What helps, according to the NHS: holding or cuddling, feeding upright, winding after feeds, gentle rocking, a warm bath and gentle white noise.

What doesn’t: the NHS says anti-colic drops and herbal or probiotic supplements aren’t recommended, with no evidence they help, and that spinal manipulation and cranial osteopathy have little evidence and may hurt your baby. The AAP says research has never shown gas drops or gripe water to work. Ask your doctor before trying anything.

Hours of crying wear anyone down, and that’s when it matters most to know this: never shake a baby. Shaking moves their head violently and can cause brain damage (NHS); babies can’t yet support their heavy heads (AAP).

If you feel yourself losing it, put your baby somewhere safe, like their cot with no blankets or toys, leave the room and take 10 to 15 minutes to calm down (AAP). The NHS suggests closing the door and setting a time limit, such as 10 minutes, then going back.

Then talk to someone: your partner, a friend, your health visitor or your doctor. In the UK, the Cry-sis helpline is free on 0800 448 0737, 9am to 10pm, 7 days a week.

• A fever under 3 months. A temperature of 38°C (100.4°F) or higher in a baby 3 months or younger: call your paediatrician straight away (AAP).
• A cry that sounds different from their usual cry, or a baby who isn’t interested in feeding (NHS).
• A weak or high-pitched cry (NHS).

Get emergency help if your baby is unresponsive, floppy or not waking as easily as usual, is being violently sick a lot, or hasn’t had a wet nappy in the past 8 hours (NHS).